Wood Banner with Swirls

Thursday, December 15, 2011

No.2 Pencils

So often the big event we Daydream about is a Giant Let Down. For example, the build-up to the Christmas holiday with the shopping and decorating and the wrapping of gifts....
We envision the family gathered, donning our "gay apparel" and laughing as we clink glasses together in a jolly toast. The children play merrily with their new toys and everyone is sentimental over the birth of our savior. Perfect.
Then Christmas day arrives and Sister shows up late as usual,  Uncle brought cheap gifts, Grandpa is asleep after a pre-meal turkey sandwich and Grandma is griping at Mom because she can't find the mixer. The children are fighting over a toy and not a soul has mentioned a baby in a manger. Giant Let Down.

I often think of this....how we build things up in our minds and reality just can't live up to our perfect vision.

I've been Daydreaming again about laughing children and folders of organized work and family adventures and exploring the worlds of art and music and theater and history......a yellow warmth pours into our sunroom and the children are seated on the giant rug. My shabby framed dry erase board stares blankly from the West wall and awaits my Expo marker. I command their attention with my animated narration and they participate eagerly. We then frolic out of doors to tend to our vegetable garden. The children sing a happy song as they tug at the weeds and pick the harvest of our family labor. Sigh. Can't you see it? I am certainly wearing a cotton dress and one of those large garden hats. Perfect.

Then I am stirred from my thoughts by a screaming child insisting that her sister has purposely hidden her jazz shoes....and I realize that we're late for rehearsal and that the girls never finished their homework because we couldn't find any pencils! So off we go and then to grab dinner after - home by 9:15 and homework gets completed in blue ink. Baths. Bed. 2 hours of work for mom. 5 hours of sleep before the alarm. Real.

Today was the deadline for turning in a Letter of Intent to Homeschool in the state of Arkansas for the Spring Semester. It is something I've thought of many times and I've tormented over this decision for weeks. Pray. Wait. Talking with the husband. Talking with the children. Pray. Wait.

Today I walked out the door at 12:02pm and drove to the Administration Office with my Letter of Intent and Curriculum Description. Anxiety gone. Breathing comes easy. Corners of my mouth curl upward. This Marketing Consultant will soon be a Homeschool Teacher! A few years ago, I would have laughed at the thought. Today I smile. And as I walk out the door to fetch kids from school, I walk out the door happy! We are going to take this thing a semester at a time. It most certainly won't be like my Daydream but I am confident that it will not be a Giant Let Down either.

We are all excited about our new adventure but the sunroom doesn't even resemble a classroom and I think we'll need to purchase some No. 2 Pencils!

1 comment:

  1. I am praying for you, my friend. I know you have not entered into this decision lightly. I pray that you will let the Lord lead you and that sweet family of yours the way he would have you to go. We love you and are always here for you no matter what. Maybe we might follow suit. I am still in the Pray.Wait.Talk with husband stage. :/